Kicking the Tree to the Curb

We broke down the tree last week. It's a several-day process around here. You know? A little bit at a time. No need to expect more than that when you KNOW you're going to be stopping...to clean up a mess, locate a missing baby, find him in Big Brother's room getting into a whole plethora of choking hazards, instruct the Big Brother to clean up the choking hazards, make sure he did it, help someone get on her tights, take someone else to the bathroom, track down a screaming child to determine the reason for the screams, and then make some sort of meal (because it always seems to be meal time) which you'll get maybe a morsel of, clean it up, and then get back to the tree three hours later. Yeah, no need to have high expectations. Seriously, it took ALL week.

I LOVE having a tree. I LOVE having all the CHRISTmas decorations out. I really don't get tired of them. But. This year I was in a bit more of a hurry to get rid of it all. 'Cause I think my allergies were suffering. Or, rather, I've been suffering from my allergies. I originally started coughing the week before Thanksgiving, y'all. It was this awful, physically-draining dry hacking cough. We all had it. Only I never got rid of it. It lingered and it lingered, and it slowly became painful. By CHRISTmas I was extremely sore. Mind you, I had already been to the doctor. I had had a chest x-ray and was told my lungs were clear. There were meds prescribed. I was obedient. But I didn't get better. As time went on, I started to think it was pleurisy, which I've had before. It's very painful. Sort of felt like that.

Then one night I coughed and nearly fell out on the floor from the INTENSE pain in my chest. I mean, it POPPED!!!!! And then I couldn't inhale anymore. At least not without DYING!! Only reason I didn't go to the ER that night is 'cause I could not possibly have driven myself. So I waited until the next day. I called my doctor's office, and they acted all like..."He's really booked today. We can get you in tomorrow." And I was all like, "I'm hurting!! And what if I develop pneumonia before then because I. can't. breathe?!" And they were like, "Can you be here in 20 minutes?" And I was like, "Yeah, right. I have four children in their pajamas. And I haven't even fed them much less showered myself!" And they were like, "Sorry." So I promptly asked my dear, sweet hubby to please come home around lunch time, at which time I promptly drove to my doctor's office and told them I needed an x-ray and that I did NOT have an appointment. Guess what? SOMEhow they found the time to see me. SOMEhow they found an examination room. (By the way, I only saw two other patients there.) So weird.

The x-ray basically left my doc with the conclusion that I had a bruised rib and had "popped" a muscle in my chest wall. It STILL hurts, in fact. The trick is to like...NOT...cough (which is indeed tricky). I was on "Tylenol 3" for weeks. Yes, you heard me right. THAT is the cough suppressant I was prescribed. It definitely took the edge off the killer rib pain I was dealing with, though. I'm much better now. Still just a little sore. I have to be careful not to roll over on that side too quickly, and I can't stretch out and reach with my arm on that side. And sneezing or coughing KILLS. ME! Which is why I was ANXIOUS to rid myself of any thing that might possibly be causing all this sinus FUN.

So, good riddance, Lovely Tree. Looks like I'll be spending the rest of this winter researching ALL the ways I can be allergy-free, drug-free. It's about to the point that one needs a medical degree in order to care for one's SELF. Have you noticed that? I am becoming more and more distrustful of medical professionals. It's not really THEIR fault. I just feel like I need to know stuff mySELF and not take anybody's word for it. Is that weird and/or control-freakish?