Project 365: Week 3 (Officially)

Well, would you just look-y here? I've actually managed to stick with this thing for a second week! Yeah...I'm so awesome.

Sunday

While this didn't actually HAPPEN on Sunday (oh, no...THIS happened a few days before CHRISTmas round about the time my kids were causing THIS other awful tragedy)...

...Sunday was the day I said, "Enough!" I MUST have a replacement shelf ASAP! And then I said, "Where can I find one? And how much are they?" And then I did nothing about it because...well, I don't know. I'm dealing with far bigger crises in the world. But--not to worry--I'm STILL griping mentioning that it would sure be nice to have my shelf back in the fridge.

Monday

We usually read books after lunch and before naps. We don't usually do it quite like this, which is what prompted me to get my camera. Because this really gave me a good chuckle. Of course, it only lasted five to seven minutes TOPS, but it was a good (very CUTE) five to seven minutes.

Tuesday

This is the stuff that goes on around here. On a daily basis. No kidding.

How many of you are wishing YOU had a clothes line like this in your living room? Right AT your front door. What. No takers?!?

Goodness. And I didn't even show you the picture of the Parent Trap-esque booby trap (made entirely out of yarn) that was my bedroom. MY bedroom. Yeah, it was so cool I almost couldn't stand it. (Oh, wait. I couldn't stand it. Hmm.)

At least Atticus liked it.

Wednesday

I made these Oreo Truffles for my friend Krista's birthday.

Oreos happen to be her favorite thing. But she's got a ton of willpower and generally stays away. (You know. Except when her friend brings her a package or makes a dessert out of them. I'm the devil.)

Here's the recipe. It is ULTRA easy.

Oreo Truffles

1 (1 lb. 2 oz.) package Oreo cookies

1 8-oz. package cream cheese, softened

16 oz. bark chocolate (regular or white)

Crush cookies to fine crumbs in a food processor. Set aside about 1/4 cup of crumbs. Mix the rest of the crumbs with softened cream cheese. Form 1-inch balls out of entire mixture. (Makes approximately 40-45 truffles.) Dip balls into the melted bark chocolate and set aside on wax paper to harden. Before chocolate hardens, sprinkle balls with remaining 1/4 cup of crumbs. Refrigerate one hour before serving. Then store covered in refrigerator.

They are scrumptious. Not healthy, but scrumptious. I prefer not to get bogged down in the ingredients of CERTAIN things. Like these, for instance. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Now for a little something to dress it up.

Thursday

Thursdays we go to Academy. It's always a long, hard day for all of us. Saylor unwound at the piano.

I believe she was singing "This is my Father's world. Hum hum huh huh da da. Da da dee da huh-uh da da. Hum ha.........hum" (every eighth note in its place) when I caught her here.

I didn't even know she knew that song.

Friday

Friday we met Krista and her kiddos at a local indoor playspace. We were there for over two hours for a much-needed play time! But somehow I totally forgot to pack my camera. Duh. After our time away, though, I was zapped. We decided to have black bean burgers ('cause I can whip them up in no time flat) and have a family movie night. Noah made all the preparations. I was SO excited at the prospect of sitting in these assigned seats for an entire feature length film. Yikes!

But once the movie started, and Noah looked like this...

he didn't notice the chairs being moved aside for softer alternatives.

Everyone thoroughly enjoyed the film...

...and the food.

And if you haven't seen this...

you should. Take it from me.

Saturday

Friday night (after our family movie night) just after going to sleep, Saylor awoke suddenly and threw up. (Yay for us!) After sleeping on the floor next to the toilet (aren't I mean?) she seemed to be fine the next day. We took a mini-road trip and found out she wasn't. Good thing we had brought along some plastic shopping bags just in case. That night after supper (and mind you, her supper consisted of plain water and plain pasta) she vomited again...a TON! I gave her a bath and washed her hair (I'm sure you can imagine why). This is what she looked like after all that.

This is the way she rolls when she's sick. You'd NEVER know anything was wrong with her. She's just as perky and go-with-the-flow as ever. She was too busy nursing her baby...pig (I have no idea) in her sling and acting crazy to be bothered by a little ol' stomach bug.

Okay. So that was my week. Top that! :)

What She Is To Me

...someone who's actually busier than I am. I mean, while I'm busy busy running from child to child and back to child again, at least I'm home in my pajamas fashionable sweats instead of going some place every day. (I couldn't survive that.) She's always got the energy for it, though!! Amazing.

...someone who thinks I'm funny, even when I'm not. (I prefer to think she's laughing with me, not at me.)

...someone who's always willing to help others. I can't TELL you how many times she's taken care of me: bringing a meal or just a treat, lending us clothes, tricycles, bikes, or movies, taking some (even ALL!!) of my children so I could have a "breather" or go to a function I wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

...someone who thinks of me. I always appreciate a call from her (remember how busy she is?) just to check up on me. To see how I am doing.

...someone who prays for me. I covet prayers. I NEED them. And I know she cares enough about me to remember me in prayer. That's not something you can say about just anyone.

...someone who can hold her own when it comes to my husband and his constant teasing, pestering, and trash talking. (They are worthy ping pong adversaries, those two.)

...someone who understands me and my quirks. And still claims to like me!!

...someone who I genuinely miss when she (and her family) can't make it to one of my kids' birthday parties, when between all our eight children we can't seem to get everyone well enough at one time to get together (and this for months on end), and when she's right in the middle of volleyball season (which, it seems to me, must be the LOOOOONGest sports season of all!).

...someone I can safely say is the craziest person I've ever met. IF you consider the craziest people to be those who want to play GAMES 24/7! (She'll take any kind, y'all.)

...someone who keeps me smiling. Her charisma? Well, it's infectious is what it is. (And even if I don't have it in me sometimes to join her in all her shenanigans, I'm definitely always entertained!)

...someone who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him with her WHOLE life. She is truly an inspiration to me.

Happy Birthday, my sweet friend.

Happy Birthday, Krista. I love you!!

(It will be my goal this year to get a shot of you without something hiding your face. Ha!)

Kicking the Tree to the Curb

We broke down the tree last week. It's a several-day process around here. You know? A little bit at a time. No need to expect more than that when you KNOW you're going to be stopping...to clean up a mess, locate a missing baby, find him in Big Brother's room getting into a whole plethora of choking hazards, instruct the Big Brother to clean up the choking hazards, make sure he did it, help someone get on her tights, take someone else to the bathroom, track down a screaming child to determine the reason for the screams, and then make some sort of meal (because it always seems to be meal time) which you'll get maybe a morsel of, clean it up, and then get back to the tree three hours later. Yeah, no need to have high expectations. Seriously, it took ALL week.

I LOVE having a tree. I LOVE having all the CHRISTmas decorations out. I really don't get tired of them. But. This year I was in a bit more of a hurry to get rid of it all. 'Cause I think my allergies were suffering. Or, rather, I've been suffering from my allergies. I originally started coughing the week before Thanksgiving, y'all. It was this awful, physically-draining dry hacking cough. We all had it. Only I never got rid of it. It lingered and it lingered, and it slowly became painful. By CHRISTmas I was extremely sore. Mind you, I had already been to the doctor. I had had a chest x-ray and was told my lungs were clear. There were meds prescribed. I was obedient. But I didn't get better. As time went on, I started to think it was pleurisy, which I've had before. It's very painful. Sort of felt like that.

Then one night I coughed and nearly fell out on the floor from the INTENSE pain in my chest. I mean, it POPPED!!!!! And then I couldn't inhale anymore. At least not without DYING!! Only reason I didn't go to the ER that night is 'cause I could not possibly have driven myself. So I waited until the next day. I called my doctor's office, and they acted all like..."He's really booked today. We can get you in tomorrow." And I was all like, "I'm hurting!! And what if I develop pneumonia before then because I. can't. breathe?!" And they were like, "Can you be here in 20 minutes?" And I was like, "Yeah, right. I have four children in their pajamas. And I haven't even fed them much less showered myself!" And they were like, "Sorry." So I promptly asked my dear, sweet hubby to please come home around lunch time, at which time I promptly drove to my doctor's office and told them I needed an x-ray and that I did NOT have an appointment. Guess what? SOMEhow they found the time to see me. SOMEhow they found an examination room. (By the way, I only saw two other patients there.) So weird.

The x-ray basically left my doc with the conclusion that I had a bruised rib and had "popped" a muscle in my chest wall. It STILL hurts, in fact. The trick is to like...NOT...cough (which is indeed tricky). I was on "Tylenol 3" for weeks. Yes, you heard me right. THAT is the cough suppressant I was prescribed. It definitely took the edge off the killer rib pain I was dealing with, though. I'm much better now. Still just a little sore. I have to be careful not to roll over on that side too quickly, and I can't stretch out and reach with my arm on that side. And sneezing or coughing KILLS. ME! Which is why I was ANXIOUS to rid myself of any thing that might possibly be causing all this sinus FUN.

So, good riddance, Lovely Tree. Looks like I'll be spending the rest of this winter researching ALL the ways I can be allergy-free, drug-free. It's about to the point that one needs a medical degree in order to care for one's SELF. Have you noticed that? I am becoming more and more distrustful of medical professionals. It's not really THEIR fault. I just feel like I need to know stuff mySELF and not take anybody's word for it. Is that weird and/or control-freakish?

Drowning

I've been freaking out lately (and when I say lately, I mean for months now).

No, really. It's true. I've been sort of drowning in fear. Trying to tread water, but going UNDER a LOT!! And while flailing my arms about like someone who's never had a single swimming lesson, I've lost sight of the One I should have been looking to all along. I've forgotten all I've learned. I've forgotten where "my help comes from." (Psalm 121:1-2)

You see? When you have four children, and they're all so YOUNG, and they manage to get into all manner of trouble on a regular basis, and one of them won't talk (much) and is stubborn beyond words (so to speak), and one of them depends on YOU to be physically able to provide his most important meals of the day (i.e. babies need to nurse), and one of them challenges you at every turn and never wants to do anything you ask him to do, and one of them does NOT learn things easily and without help, and it is up to YOU to feed, clothe, nurture, teach, train, clean up after, and spend quality time with these kiddos...you sort of start s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. You start noticing how TIRED your arms are and how there's not much KICK left in your legs and GOLLEEEEE the water is deep and COLD and DARRRRKK! And then you realize it's time to pay bills (AGAIN), and there are some significant ones this month, and you are trying to buy healthier foods, but the blasted budget NEVER seems to allow for as much as you really want to be buying. And don't forget the two to three loads of laundry you've got to do (per day!) or there won't be any underwear...or diapers (and you definitely don't want that)! And, hello? Don't you think you'd better get the filing done, vacuum occasionally, dust (yeah, right), and AT LEAST wipe off the counters and kitchen table so you can EAT!?! And then you look to your left and see that your husband is even farther away than he was the last time you looked (thanks to all those hearings right in a row and his OWN physical exhaustion).

One in such a predicament can't help but think...

I'll never get through to my son.

I'm failing my daughter.

The toddler and baby won't be any better off, because who has time to train THEM when I'm spending all my time on the first two?

I don't spend enough quality time with any of them.

We'll never get all our debt paid off.

The food I've been giving my kids is poisoning them.

It's all a conspiracy!

We're ALL going to die of cancer (or Alzheimer's).

Unless, of course, America becomes a war zone FIRST.

How will I ever be as self-sufficient as I may need to be?

There are a million viruses on my computer, and I don't know how to get them off!

All the appliances keep breaking because nothing's made well anymore.

I've wasted so much of my time.

I'm afraid I'm becoming a monster in the eyes of my kids.

I barely recognize myself in the mirror anymore. (Sleep would probably help, but...when is that going to happen?)

My husband must think I'm hideous.

These thoughts (and the like) tend to drive the attitude of the heart this way: What's the point of eating well when it costs so MUCH? We're all going to die sometime anyway! It's probably too late to make a difference. Why should I bother with having the kids do chores anymore? They don't care what this house looks like. I don't understand why they keep disobeying. Nothing I do or say makes any difference anyway! Dinner schminner. Fend for yourself! We just won't ever have company again! So there! No, no, no. You can't do anything fun whatsoever! You don't deserve it!

Yuck, huh?

And while it doesn't help to worry and fret about how we're doing with raising our children, and while it's imperative that we remember it is God's work in them, not our own, that doesn't give us license to shirk our responsibility toward them. After all, God has given us authority over them. It is our calling. We have no choice.

Something I've been learning lately (and when I say lately, I mean for the past couple of years...but it's STILL not been fully driven into this thick skull of mine) is that we, as parents, are no different in the eyes of God from our own children! We like to THINK that because we are grown up, we are "closer" to God, "closer" to deserving His grace. But REALLY we are NOT any more deserving of His grace than our seven-year-olds who deliberately disobey our direct commands, or our five-year-olds who like to whine and argue, or our toddlers who say "No!" to us. We are all in the same boat. The very same sinking ship. And we would all drown if it weren't for His saving grace, His abiding love, His mercies which are new each and every morning. And we don't deserve ANY of His goodness!

So, then. When that seven-year old disobeys, how shall I respond? When the proverbial steam is shooting from my ears and my eyes are rolling around in my head uncontrollably, I mean. HOW shall I respond? Well, I wish I could say that I always respond in the way that my Father responds to my wickedness. I wish I could say that my children are amazed at the way I love them and forgive them for their foolish ways. I wish I could say that they think of me as gentle and kind and sweet. I wish I could say they are ready and willing to please me at every turn because I'm such an awesome mommy. I wish.

Learning to respond biblically to their sin is the single hardest thing I think I will EVER have to learn, because it is just so foreign to my personality. I just think they should WANT to please me, that they should take NOTICE of the fact that I've been washing the POO out of their diapers and wiping up the toilets where they've missed and creating delicious (...ahem..) meals for them to savor and singing each and every blooming night to them (even when my heart isn't in it) and picking up their books and blocks and crayons and trash and clothes and insert random object here for the one millionth time today and driving them to this activity and that activity and taking them to church and buckling them in safety seats and nursing them back to health and putting up with their cranky, selfish attitudes!!! They should totally take notice.

But they don't. The stinkers.

They don't. 'Cause they're 7 and 5 and 2 and...baby.

And those are the exact ages of people who don't. take. notice.

Begs the question...Wonder WHY I do all that stuff anyway?? Is it so they'll notice???? Is it?? Well, if it is, I might as well hang it up now because that's just stupid. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing those things because SERVING MY FAMILY is SERVING MY GOD, and I should be doing it with a cheerful heart. (After all, I preach that same sermon to my oldest two kiddos every time I ask them to do something to help out and they groan or complain. Such irony. Such irony.)

Sigh.

End tangent.

Back to the point. Which is.......We all like sheep have gone astray. (Isaiah 53:6) Yes, we have.

Think of it like this. According to the Scriptures, your husband is to be "over" you as your protector, the one who takes responsibility for the decisions of the household, the one who will answer to God for the raising of his family. The husband and wife are spiritual equals in the eyes of God, but God has placed your husband over you in authority to provide for you a covering, a safe-haven. In the same way, both parents are placed as authorities over their children, to care for them, to protect them, to teach them. But spiritually, we are all equals. Now, obviously, your seven-year old probably doesn't have as much spiritual wisdom, insight, or experience as you, the parent, but that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about where we "land" on the map of lostness.

In the eyes of God, a rapist is no more or less sinful than you or I, though there will certainly be distinct differences with respect to the consequences of those sins. God loves him just the same. Now that's hard for us to fully comprehend, but aren't you glad it's so? Aren't you glad that your very worst sin doesn't somehow place you in some other "bracket" of spiritual sentencing? To know that God sees sin as just that--SIN--and does not rank us all according to our deeds...well, it tells us that He has an incomprehensible and unending love for His children. That's the kind of Father I want.

And, therefore, that's the kind of mother I want to be. I mean, if your child grew up to be an embezzler or a murderer does that mean your LOVE for him would END (or be any LESS than the love you have for your other children)??! Of course not! You'd HATE with every fiber of your being that he had chosen such a pathetic existence. You'd grieve that he would suffer consequences untold. You'd worry your head off. And you'd pray every moment of every day that God would save him from himself. But your love would remain. You'd still be the one who had prayed for him to grow inside of you, given birth to him, nursed him, diapered him, played with him, cuddled with him. You'd still be his Mommy. Praise God it is that way with our Heavenly Father.

I have been going through some rough stuff lately. Much of it is due to pure exhaustion. Much of it is due to poor choices in the use of my time. But most of it is due to the fact that I have fallen away from my God. I have TURNED away when I needed Him most. I have acted as if I could handle my life on my own. And I have failed miserably. I have been SO fearful. I have parented out of this fear. I have been so lazy and so detached. I could recognize my children as blessings, but since they didn't ACT very bless-ed, I got angry...a lot. At them! How dare they ruin my idea of what my daily life should look like?! Talk about losing sight! And the fact is...WHO DO I THINK I AM? Am I any better than they? Does God think I'm awesomely perfect or something? Have I suddenly leaped from the plain of "Sinner Saved from Grace" to the plain of "Perfection Attained" high above my children??

Well, ummm, no.

No, I haven't.

Nor will I.

Ever.

I need to get. over. myself. I need to recognize my depravity and then...instead of wallowing in THAT ('cause that's what I tend to do)...I need to thank and praise my God for loving me ANYWAY, for dying for all my JUNK, and for blessing me with four beautiful children to teach about a God who loves like that. A God who loves THEM like that. MY God. Their God. Our God. The One and Only God.

This portion of an old hymn...is so, so true.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,

Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!

What more can He say than to you He hath said,

You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

I think in all my wild, crazy struggling about in the water, I just haven't STOPPED long enough to realize that my feet can actually touch the bottom--they could all along. That there is a firm foundation (His Word) I can stand upon. I can rest now. I really don't have to keep fighting and gasping for air. He already took care of me...on the Cross. What else then do I really have to fear?

Attempting Project 365 Week 1 (or is it 2?)

Last year (all year long!) Sara hosted a group of gals for "Project 365." The idea is to take a photo a day to share on your blog. You post once a week and basically describe your week in pictures.

I sort of can't believe I've decided to try this. All things considered. But it seems like an exciting possibility for some consistency on this blog, so it's at least worth a try. I'll be posting on Sundays (hopefully). So now you know. I'm getting a late start (surprised?), because the actual first week was last Sunday, but since it wasn't officially a full week of 2010, I didn't think it was time to start. Or maybe you could just say I had lost track of what day it was, so...duh. Now I'm ready, though. Here we go:

Sunday

It was truly a day of rest. After church, I mainly sat right HERE all stretched out on Nana's chaise lounge (wrapped up in a Snuggie, no less), blogging and editing photos for the blog. Nice, nice day.

Monday

One last photo of the tree before beginning the disassembly process.

Quite possibly my favorite "extra touch" on our tree. Ting ting. Love the sparkle. Love the curly-q's. Love the dimension it adds to the tree. It's just happy stuff.

Tuesday

Stripped.

CHRISTmas Tree Synergy: The Whole is Greater than the Sum of Its Parts

The Aftermath

Wednesday

Noah had his first guitar lesson today. He learned "D," "A," and "E." He was so excited!

Thursday

Still putting away CHRISTmas. See you next year, Little Drummer Boy.

Friday

This boy and his hair. Is it any wonder that I have to carry around dryer sheets (the only thing I use them for!) in my diaper bag??

Saturday

These two were up and at 'em bright and early. Ready for adventure and excitement...

...ready for the library??

That was our big outing Saturday. A whole two minutes away from the house! Big excitement! Actually, the kids are always excited about the library. I promise. Paul took these photos, so I don't know WHAT these faces are a reaction to. (Bad grammar acknowledgment: ...to what these faces are reacting. That better? I know, I know. Still passive. Whatevs.)