Sunday, March 29, 2009

Please Make It Stop...

Okay. I'm SOOOOO sick of unsolicited phone calls. I just don't know what to do anymore. Seriously. I can't deal. The only time our home phone rings (and those of you who know me personally know that I'm talking about WHEN it rings...since it's hardly ever charged or even turned ON) is when some MACHINE dials our number. Sick, sick, sick of it. My exasperation is OBVIOUS, too! I cannot control my eyes from rolling around in my head several times nor my lungs from releasing the biggest SIGH of the century! Do y'all know what I'm talking about??

Just this past week I received calls about off-brand satellite TV offers, life insurance for seniors (huh?), lower interest rates for credit cards (again! see #6 here), a consumer survey, several calls looking for Gladys Brown (who? we've lived here a year and a half and companies are STILL searching for this lady at OUR number), and a warning (for the fifth time) that this was the "final" call I'd be receiving to remind me that the factory warranty was expiring on our vehicle (oh, the irony).

Come ONNNNN!!! Please tell me. What exactly IS the "National Do-Not Call List" anyway?? I mean, we got on the list long ago, but now they've figured out a way around it. If a computer calls you, then there's no way for you to "tell" them to stop calling you and/or report them for breaking the law. Drives me crazy (in case you couldn't tell). I guess I just don't understand WHY this is happening. And, more importantly, WHAT, if anything, I can do about it. (Saving money by not having Caller ID is backfiring on us a bit, it seems...)

And T-H-E-N, who should appear at my door Thursday but "Dwayne from Detroit," wearing a lanyard and backpack and peeking through the glass on my front doors so that I couldn't hide or pretend I wasn't home. He was loud and boisterous (I guess I can give him an "A" for enthusiasm) and...selling something. Ah, but of course. Now, mind you, this sort of thing is not supposed to be allowed in most neighborhoods, but somehow these people get around the rules (as usual). Today's can't-live-without-it product was a dilutable green apple-scented non-toxic all-purpose cleaner (whew! that's a lot of hyphens!) for--get this--36 dollars! What?! Now, yes, it was a big bottle, and yes--I gotcha--, it's dilutable. But for goodness' sake! 36 dollars??! Now, I'm all for a good deal (and $36 to make 36 spray bottles of cleaner at $1 a piece is, admittedly, a good deal), but a gal doesn't always have $36 to just "DROP" on the fly like that.

So after he did the whole "leading question" thing: "Mrs. Davidson, would you say this one bottle would be enough for your cleaning needs, or will you need some more?" and "How many bottles do you think your husband will need to clean that oil stain on the driveway?" I told the guy that I would not be able to purchase anything from him at this time. He, of COURSE, wanted to know why. I answered that it was the end of the month and we had not been paid yet (true, but only in part--I've since learned to be more straightforward).

Do you know what this guy did next? I swear, y'all would NEVER guess!! DWAYNE with the lanyard and backpack excused himself for a moment so that he could take a "look" around the neighborhood ("to get his bearings," he said)...he peered around, across and down the street, then looked back at me and asked, "Am I dreaming? Is this for real?" And THEN he proceeded to walk BACK up to my doorstep and with a snide and haughty tone said, "Now. Let me ask you again! How many bottles are you going to purchase today?" Now this flew all over me, but I very sweetly answered, "I'm sorry, but what you don't have any idea about is what OUR particular finances are like. So I can't buy any today. Thanks anyway." But do you think that ended it? Well, NO! This guy performed his funny little "act" all over again, walking out to the sidewalk and looking around (with great fanfare), but this time before he could rudely ask me once more how many bottles I'd be buying on "this beautiful day," just as he was turning around I set his product sample down on my doorstep, thanked him for coming, and promptly closed my door (and locked it). He didn't put up a fight. He was smart enough to know that he was downright RUDE and he'd better hightail it off my property. I'm thinking at the very least, he should rethink his sales tactics. Offending people prAH-buh-blee isn't the way to go about it. Ya know?

Well! I said all that to say that if I NEED some insurance, I'll call around. If I decide I'd better renew all our various factory warranties, I'll take care of it. I don't need TWO satellites on my house, that's for sure. I'm not a senior...just yet. I do not wish to share my opinion(s) with any companies, because I don't have that kind of time. Gladys Brown does NOT live here, nor has she ever! So do NOT call ME!!! And I'll be cleaning with vinegar and water around here, thank you very much.


  1. ha ha, you got to the vinegar and water. I had one of those come by and oh so enthusiastic... she even pulled the sprayer out and LICKED it to 'prove' how safe and non-toxic it is. When she told me how much it was I said "I use murphy's oil soap for just about everything. I told her the same bottle I bought when we moved in for about $6 (it was a very big bottle) is still ticking. AND it is free of many of the chemicals in commercial cleaners.
    I feel ya. I tell them I don't have the money for a $2000 vacuum and they say "we'll finance it." And I say "how does that get me $2,000?"
    man oh man if someone did that to me I'd tell them the REASON I can live in a nice house is b/c I don't waste $36 on a bottle of cleaner.
    You gotta get caller ID. That is not something I skimp on. If it doesn't register a number with a name, it does not get answered.

  2. I am giggling good at this one!! If he had done that to me, I am afraid I would have been rather rude and made sure he understood that people in nice homes can do so when they don't blow money on every "bargain" on her doorstep!
    I am glad we don't have a home phone because it has made the days much more peaceful, but I often forget where the cell phone is and miss those calls as well! :)
    Anyway, sounds like there is always excitement at your house... :)

  3. I hate answering the phone when I KNOW who's calling and actually like the person, and I'm horrible about returning phone calls. I HATE the phone. I need peace and quiet, not more noise and more to deal with! I used to get irritated with Rowland because he would just hang up on telemarketers. Now, I'm the one who is short on the phone. And NO MATTER how much money you want to save each month, caller ID is a MUST!!!!!! As for people at the door, I NEVER answer, even if it's a neighbor. I pretend that I don't even hear the door bell as my dog goes nuts! If they see me in the window, too bad! My work is just as important as anyone else's, and you need an appointment if you want my attention at my door! See what a witch I am? Gotta love a pastor's wife!

  4. Thanks for the chuckles! I'm taking a late journey around blogland for the UBP and it has been great. I've read many good posts, even some sad ones, and now I even get one to lighten my heart.

    I am with you all the way. Been there, done that. That factory warranty one is a doozy, isn't it? Well,I enjoyed my visit and wish you and your family the best. Visit over at our business blog when you can.


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